Tag: Life

Soundtrack: St Patrick by Pvris

What even happened in September I hear you cry (or not, whatever, I’ll imagine you care a little bit)?

Honestly? I don’t feel like I even know myself.
Some of the time was spent catching up on old friendships. I spent a weekend in Bristol with old friends from College (some of whom I haven’t seen in over a year), a healthy dose of gin (maybe some shots and an amusing round of Cards Against Humanity), and plenty of shenanigans. A week later I was enjoying an evening out with old work colleagues (again gin was involved), a hearty flow of conversation, and the sudden realisation I had left that company almost a year ago.

Both instances were a casual reminder that good friends will not hate you for retreating into your shell or forgetting to drop them a line after months of not talking, or the constant babble (from me) of ‘I am a really terrible friend. I honestly don’t know why we don’t do this more often’.
Both times I felt the warm and fuzzies of being in good company with a steady flow of conversation. The people in groups of friends are great talkers and they all of them have so many so many stories to tell, especially when I haven’t seen them in so long. I sat back into the comfortable role in most social situations of simply listening along.

And now? I’m back to reality, but feeling better about my head space – despite still trying to recover from a truly horrific bout of cold/seasonal flu (at this point I’d like to thank Sense8 and Orphan Black for motivating me to power through. #Blessed). Solitude feels so good again after so much social interaction, but if September has taught me anything it’s made me realise I’m probably not as introverted as I thought I was. I really enjoy people’s company and once I’m actually dragged out and way from Netflix, I find myself wishing I did it more often (just without the horrible colds I tend to get from perhaps socialising too hard). Extroverted Introvert much? Maybe? (I don’t know but this Hello Giggles article seems to pretty much describe me to a ‘T’). Who knew actually interacting with people could feel so nice!

In light of this amusing revelation I turn my attention back to you guys. How are you feeling this September? Fancy a chat?

R.xoxo

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Soundtrack: Roman Holiday by Halsey

August was busyyyy in both good and bad ways. Good in the travel and the people I’ve gotten to see and be with over this last proper month of Summer. Bad, with stress and too much time spent in my head again.

You’re probably sick of hearing the fact that Summer is seemingly over and you now have to wind into a fresh new season. September always signals the start of a new term at schools, colleges and universities and even if you’re not in education anymore you can feel the effects of that fresh start. Whether that be the fact your commute is 10 minutes longer thanks to the new additions to the school run or the fact that Paperchase are emailing you back to school offers 10 times a day. I always loved the start of a new school year. It was my chance to get back into the zone and tell myself ‘this year I’m not gonna procrastinate, I’m gonna work hard’ (n.b. this pretty much failed every year but hey at least I tried!).

Despite this I do feel this September, even more so than January is the optimal time to try and make some autumnal resolutions. The Summer to Autumn transition is the most dramatic in my opinion – going from sweltering hot to wearing jumpers in a space of a few weeks. At this time of year, January always seems like a distant memory. I’m feeling this especially this year having moved at the beginning of the year, I barely remember my resolutions and so much has changed in the space of nine months.

Though I have loved the Summer months much more this year, I am so ready for a change. I feel refreshed after a long Bank Holiday break centering my head again and refocusing my brain.

R.xoxo

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Soundtrack: When I Come Around by Green Day

Dear July,

July, this was my first time with you as an ‘adult’ (whatever that means).

I was coming off a high with you last year. Solo travel, a graduate job and y’know the small matter of actually leaving University. So much was changing. Had changed. So much was happening I barely had time to process it all. I was on the brink of figuring out what I wanted to do now that I was done with school. And now? My life feels…settled (That’s a nice word for it). I’m in a comfortable job. I work a 9-5. My weekends are free. I write blog posts. I write. I read. I spend far too much time in cafes or in bed on Netflix or Twitter. I have routine again. I have bills to pay and deadlines to meet. I feel content with my lot in life but sometimes – and you can blame it on FOMO – I wonder whether I should be doing something more exciting?

I’ve done a lot of reflecting with you July because of this. I don’t think I’m the only 23 year old to feel this way – and I think Marion’s video expressed this much better than I ever could to be honest. Being a grown up is not what I expected it to be. But in reality as I look back on this month’s Instagram photos as I do every month, if I had the chance to speak to my 15/16 year old self I wonder how would she react to my life now. Sometimes comparing your life to years ago can feel much more productive than comparing to one year ago.

This July I’ve come to terms with being ok with on my own but not necessarily lonely. I’ve gone out explored more of ‘my city’ – as this is what Oxford feels like to me now. I welcomed a friend into said city for the day and had so much fun showing it off. I went to my second convention of the year and reunited with a friend from the first I attended two year ago (it had been two years since I’d seen her too). I’ve become one of those adults that gets nostalgic listening to From Under The Cork Tree and Dookie. I’ve once again decided I really love the online community, whether that be brief instances of interaction on Twitter or full blown conversations I’ve been having with my Camp NaNoWriMo cabin. Speaking of NaNo, I’ve reignited my love of writing. I adore creating stories and I want to get published one day.

My life may not be what I imagined it when I was 15 but it’s mine and only mine. And I really like it right now. I hope I feel the same about this next year.

R.xoxo
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*Trying out a little format change inspired by Emily Diana Ruth‘s ‘Letters to July‘ series on Youtube. Let me know what you think.