Thoroughly modern millennial

Category: Blog

  • A re-introduction (of sorts)

    A re-introduction (of sorts)

    Hello (again)

    As Summer draws it last lazy breath, Autumn steps into the light. A new season full of promise. A turn of a page, a reboot of sorts, and a moment for me to say hello (again) to the blog and a hello to you.

    Hiatus’ are becoming commonplace for me and I won’t apologise for this one. There were many reasons I strayed from the blog none very dramatic but as I am saying hello (again) I thought it fit for us all to have a catch up.

    A digital detox of sorts

    I know this sounds cliche but I am genuinely trying to be more mindful of how I consume social media and spend my time in the online world. I’ve especially found myself exhausted by the digital as I now spend 90% of my time in my actual job logged tuned into the Internet. The last thing I’ve wanted to do lately has been to sit down and actually write a blog post and the pressure I was mounting onto myself to do so was draining me of creativity. So I took a step back. I’ve tried considering what I use each of my social media platforms for and want to try and re-focus on quality (not quantity) again.

    Writing, writing, and more writing

    I have been writing though, off screen and out of way. Part invigorated by my trip to GrrrlCon back in June and being surrounded by wonderfully talented, inspiring and inclusive female writers, I have spent the past few months burrowing away delving back into creative writing. The result? I’ve a folder of poems on my computer ripe for submissions, I’m back on track with two novel projects which I thought were long abandoned, and I’m working on short stories for potential submissions to literary magazines. I’m also more comfortable talking more openly about what I’m writing to people in real life. More importantly my curiosity for the creative is back. I’ve not felt this great about my writing in years.

    Activist self-care

    2017 is relentless isn’t it? If it’s not Tr*mp literally running riot in the White House, it’s the absolute sh* t show of the UK Tory Government, or ignorant Nazi meatheads plowing down innocent protesters. I was fired up at the beginning of the year to fight, but the activist burnout has been so very real. I’ve learnt the hard way that shouting constantly on my own is not sustainable. So again, like my little blogging detox, I’ve been stepping away from the 24/7 news cycle and trying to not to get too sucked into the negative.

    I realise I preach the ‘activism must be persistent and consistent’ line all the time but a balance is needed and it is hard to admit that stepping back, taking breaks, and looking after myself is so very important for me right now. Activism requires shift work and the silver lining to all the terrible in the World is realising that there are entire networks of incredible people willing to make change happen. None of us have to do this alone.

    Show not tell

    Not sure if you’ve noticed but I have a problem with making plans and not following through. I tell you I’m travelling to India and I don’t share pics. I start new blogging series and let them fall to the wayside. I promise big things on this blog but they often don’t come to fruition. I’m very good at shooting the sh*t when it comes to ideas, but when it comes to execution I often fall short of time and effort. I want to stop promising so much and just let blog posts fall more spontaneously across my little corner of the Internet. I would encourage you to follow me on Twitter and Instagram if you miss me that much.

    (Re)Balance

    And here’s a nice 180 back to my original New Year’s Resolution. I was seeking balance this year. I needed it after my accidental ‘year of saying yes’ and I do believe I have time to claw this back. Everything I’ve talked about here ties into this singular resolution.

    — — —

    Before I have you all worry this isn’t a ‘the old Ria can’t come to the phone right now cause she’s dead’ type of situation with the blog. As I acknowledged in my last post the ‘blogging’ landscape has changed, I’ve changed, my priorities have changed. Which means I needed time away to re-envision, recharge and rework what I actually wanted this little corner of my Internet to be like. And this post is just the start.

    Ria Xx

  • May | In Retrospect

    May | In Retrospect

    Song of the month: Cut to the feeling, Carly Rae Jepsen

    Oh woes me, Ria’s back at it again with another existential crisis. This was going to be a whole separate post but it looks like this is side stepping into my May round up. This month for me flew by in a dizzy haze of mixed emotions. Part combination of mid-twenties crisis / post-holiday blues / general anger at how effing cruel the world can be as the Manchester attack hit very personally. My brain frazzled. I’ve taken time out and well, the result is this post (which, I’m not entirely sure makes much sense)…

    Blogger no more?

    I’ve spent the last month thinking about the way I categorise myself. Labels for me are useful and as bad as it is I like applying them to myself.

    I am many things. A woman. A Filipina. A Brit. A daughter. A sister. A nerd. A Ravenclaw. A bookworm. One label I’ve been happy to stick with for a number of years and has held pride of place in many bios on the Internet is ‘blogger’.

    Blogger: a person who regularly writes material for a blog.

    Or so was the definition of I was happy to parrot to people over 5 years ago when I first started out. Obviously since then that definition has morphed into something wholly different. Something ‘more’. And whilst I made a few feeble attempts to prescribe to the idea of what a ‘blogger’ is, I’ve found myself shifting away from the ‘B’ word. Reluctant to announce it as my status. (I’ve even sneakily taken it down from some of my social media bios)

    It’s not you, it’s me

    It’s not that I think that the label is tainted or negative in any way. It’s more of a matter that I don’t feel comfortable labelling myself with that moniker anymore. I don’t fit the definition of what a blogger is right now in 2017. When people picture ‘bloggers’ they don’t see me. They see the curated feeds, editorial-esque spreads and polished articles. They see consistent content and active social media accounts, spouting wonderful opinionated, introspective, commentary, or deeply personal essays. They don’t picture me. Which I’m fine with. The industry and blogging itself has evolved. I just haven’t bothered or have had the energy to keep up with it. And I’ve come to a very simple conclusion with all this.

    I have a blog but I’m not a ‘blogger’ anymore.

    Shying away from the ‘blogger’ label has meant picking up other instead. Feminist. Activist. Writer.

    The last of those is one acquired after years of self-doubt. The complete irony being that just as I’ve grown the confidence to call myself a writer, I’m losing the label which has defined so much of my Internet existence for half a dozen or so years of my life.

    So is this you ‘quitting’ blogging?

    Well no, but TMM may ‘feel’ a little different? I want to dedicate less time to worrying about getting a blog post up and schedules. I don’t want to be beholden to Editorial calendars and empty promises of sharing content and my life. I want to spend more time on my creative writing, without feeling guilty that my blog looks empty for a bit. I want to spend more time in the other spaces I do have a responsibility to write and curate content like on Blogger’s Bookshelf and Resonate.

    So this is definitely not a farewell. It’s more of a catch you later? See you on the Internet? Keep an eye out for me in other places? idk If you miss me that much as I say my Twitter is always open. Say hello. In the meantime I’m re-assessing what this space is for me. Thanks for your patience.

    Much love.

    Ria Xx

    p.s. existential crisis aside, I’m so humbled by the lovely messages regarding the announcement that I’ll be published for the first time in 404 Ink. Be sure to pre-order Issue 2 of their magazine to see my new piece of poetry.

  • April | In Retrospect

    April | In Retrospect

    Song of the month: Stay, Zedd (ft Alessia Cara)

    April went by in a blur. Mental tiredness has now been replaced by the physical exhaustion.

    I barely remember anything that happened this month and looking at it in retrospect feels like a totally out of body experience.

    I have India travel posts coming very soon, so I won’t spend too much talking about it now. We did so much in two weeks it’ll be hard to quantify in words and images alone, but it was definitely one of the most incredible holidays I’ve ever been on. It would be very easy to go all ‘Gap Yah/Eat, Pray Love’ about this trip, but it did test the limits of my comfort zone. I do think I’ve come out of the other end of this holiday more resilient and it’s put a lot of things into perspective for me too.

    India aside, April marked a very subdued 25th birthday. Jet lag and a few personal dramas aside meant it came and went without much fanfare. Appropriate really as I mentioned in my last post that I’m at a point in my mid-twenties where I feel content to just ‘be’. Bank Holiday was the polar opposite of ridiculousness partaking in the Oxford tradition of getting up at 5am for May Morning Celebrations. It was nice to tick off the bucket list, but I wholly recommend not going out the night before.

    And now we’re meandering into May, my body and brain are grateful for a bit of a break and a return to normalcy before the Summer. My plan is to get back on track, back to writing and reading, and to clear my headspace of this travel fog. I’m also determined to get back to work on some proper activism again (*whispers* Hey UK peeps have you registered to vote yet? Remember to register to vote ok!). Whilst it was nice ignoring the real world for a while it’s definitely time to delve back in again.

    p.s. I need to say a quick thank you to my lovely guest writers who looked after TMM so well in my absence. So shout out to Michelle, Anastasia, Lucy, Prithvi, and Anjali for their wonderful pieces – click on each name to catch up on their posts!

    Ria