Thoroughly modern millennial

Category: Blog

  • The F Word: Getting real about my finances

    The F Word: Getting real about my finances

    We’re talking a ‘taboo’ subject today and one that’s still seen as inappropriate to be so brazen about.

    Finances

    I know. Snoozefest. But since opening up about earnings and spending habits to friends and family I’ve personally found it less scary to actually approach something that’s a bit dry and still a bit dirty to talk about.

    Money + Me

    I’ve never been terrible with money. I’ve been very lucky to have been in some form of employment (even if just part-time) since the age of 17. I don’t have any ‘debt’ other than my student loan and I do a have a pretty immense fear of going ‘in the red’ as it were.

    I don’t say all of this to brag, but I think it’s important to establish and recognise that I do come from an incredibly privileged background and was lucky my parents instilled a ‘work hard and save your money’ ethic in me.

    But even so, I know I have some bad habits. Last year, in particular, was a particularly ‘spendy’ year. Though I’d never take back the experiences of my India trip, I did dip into my savings in order to afford it. I was also, for the first time, doing financially well at work and took the fact that I knew I’d worked hard as permission to spend any disposable income as such. Surely that was my reward for how long I’d worked through Uni and in a graduate job?

    Whilst for some this kind of spending is totally reasonable, for me, I needed a wake-up call and that was the realisation that I wanted to do so much more.

    I want to travel more, I possibly want to do an MA one day, I want to get out of a renting cycle and own my own space (even if that’s just a teeny studio flat), and (as much as I adore Oxford) I would like to try live in another country for a bit.

    Unfortunately, all that costs money.

    Which means I need to stop being so scared to check my bank account and pay attention to what I’m flinging my debit card at.

    The Audit

    I drew a line in the sand at the end of 2017 and accepted I spent frivolously at times. And that’s ok? It’s already done and spent. I can’t take any of that spend back and 2018 onwards is my fresh start.

    This month, I’ve taken a good, long hard look at how I approach money and for the first time tracked every spend, every bill, and every ‘ treat yo’self’ purchase.

    Rather helpfully I found a super amazing spending/saving tracker on Twitter which has been so helpful in categorising my spend and allows tabs for tracking potential savings. With a little editing and playing around, I got a pretty decent idea of what my spending habits are, how much money is coming in, and what my current financial standing is.

    There’s good and bad in there, but overall I guess I’m not in as dire straits as I thought.

    Setting Financial Goals

    There is still, however, a lot of room for improvement!

    Some things I’ve started already, such as moving to a much cheaper phone contract, shopping at my local corner shop or farmer’s market on a Saturday because I’ll get way more for my money, and batch cooking to cut down on the amount I eat out.

    But here are a few some of the goals I have in mind to kick-start some healthier spending habits.

    Follow the 50/20/30 rule:

    Popularized by Elizabeth Warren (yes, that Elizabeth Warren) this budgeting method has you split your income into 50% for essentials (rent, food, bills etc.) and 20% for your savings account. The remaining 30% is then allocated to non-essential spending (i.e. that cheeky book purchase, cocktails with friends on a weekend, or tickets for a cinema trip).

    The saving portion of this is especially something I want to focus on. My saving method has usually been to bung an arbitrary amount into my online savings account. Some months it would be loads, in other months not so much. Setting a specific amount and building a budget around the fact I know that’s going into my savings no matter what.

    But I also like the fact that the rule does allow for you to y’know spend on stuff that you enjoy rather than focus so heavily on saving or only spending on the ‘boring’ stuff.

    Setting up a f*ck it fund:

    Or for a more family-friendly version an emergency piggy bank. I want to start building up enough money so that I have at least 6 months worth of my total outgoings in case, god forbid, I can’t work anymore, fall ill, or need it for a family related emergency. Shit happens and I want to be more prepared for it.

    Equally the fund can potentially be for that moment in my life where I do want to take a leap into something bigger. Whether that be moving, or taking a break to travel, or going back to school, again, I want to be prepared for it.

    Equating mental health to unnecessary spend: 

    One thing I’ve been doing alongside tracking my spend is also working out when my mental health slips are, or when I’m stressed or tired. I’m definitely an emotional spender and will more than happily spend money on a book or drinks out if I’m feeling like I need a pick me up.

    This goal is bigger than just how I spend money, but it’s also taking into account the mental mindset I’m in when I do and working out a long-term way to address my mental health rather than the short-term buzz of buying something.

    There are more, some more private, others require a bit of work. Much like my 2018 writing goals I wanted to write about these to not only be held accountable but also because it’s a topic we shouldn’t shy away from. I’ve listed a couple of bloggers who’ve equally inspired me to write this post.

    If any of you guys have any tips on saving those pennies let me know, I’d love to open up the conversation on money, budgeting and finances in general out into the blogsphere.

    R Xx

     

  • One Word Resolution | Aspire

    One Word Resolution | Aspire

    As I’ve alluded to in my 2017 round up and my 25th Birthday posts for the first time in my life I am settled. By that, I don’t mean I’ve settled down with a house, husband and three kids (though that would’ve been lovely to have at 25). I’m settled in the sense that I’ve reasonably ok with where I am in my life right now. Whilst that’s great and I appreciate the stability there’s been a little voice in the back of my head since my 25th birthday that keeps whispering ‘What’s next?’.

    Cue quarter-life crisis. Fun times.

    To put this in context, since the age of 10 I’ve been on the path careering towards a getting a University degree and starting a career in something that makes a reasonable amount of money (oh the joys of having Asian parents!).

    Well, I’m here now. It’s been three years since I crossed the stage and shook Sandi Toksvig’s hand (pre-GBBO she was Vice-Chancellor at my Uni at the time, no biggie!). I’ve been absolutely blessed to have gotten a graduate job before moving swiftly into a field I’m actually interested in and to a city I adore. I realise that path is not one that many my age have achieved. I am extremely privileged in that respect.

    But as my own social markers for ‘adulthood’ (i.e. get a boyfriend, get married, get a house, have kids) have become less important to me the inevitable question is now ‘Well, what do actually want to do with your life then?’

    What slowly dawned on me in 2017 was that I’ve been chugging along a bit directionless for a while. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been achieving anything per say, but it’s all been a bit disjointed and I like having a plan.

    Which leads me nicely to this year’s One Word Resolution

    Aspire: Direct one's hopes or ambitions towards achieving something.

    Whilst 2017’s ‘Balance‘ allowed me to look inwards at myself and what my priorities are ‘Aspire’ now paves the way to look ahead and dream again. The future can be fickle but I’m determined to get that feeling of reaching towards something again not stagnating because it’s easier.

    ‘Aspire’ is a little selfish. It’s a little ‘dreamy’. It means facing that big scary ‘What’s next’ question head-on with a little more direction. It’s active, terrifying, and exciting in equal measure.

    Part of the resolution has involved me creating a loose 5-year plan and a 30 Before 30 List. In terms of what that means for this year, it means laying the groundwork for those plans in all aspects of my life. Thinking beyond 2018 has been daunting, but creating aspirations that reach further than a calendar year is exactly what I feel I need to do right now.

    R Xx

  • 2017 | In Retrospective

    2017 | In Retrospective

    It’s the end of the year as we know it and boy am I so ready for 2018.

    Hello, it’s been a while. I’ve found it hard to try and find the words lately to summerise 2017. I’ve written and re-written this a dozen or so times. There’s no sugarcoating the ups and downs. There’s no making this all very ‘editorial’. Here’s my little retrospective on the past year.

    Back in January, I was ready to write, fight and rise out the ashes of the sh*t show of 2016. I was aching to do something to help and make a difference. I threw myself into being as loud and vocal as I could. I was writing and learning and trying to boost voices and I kept up the momentum for a while. But I picked up bad habits and realised being glued to the constant barrage of bad just mentally wore me down. I spiralled and lost hope. I burnt out and as a consequence, I just stopped. Stopped blogging. Stopped writing. Stopped doing more than maybe a twitter rant or two.

    That paired with a year of my mind going through cycles of exhaustion and recovery meant 2017 has become the year where I’ve felt the most aware of my mental health and how I deal with those as an adult. I am finding it harder and harder to ignore the fact that I am really not ok sometimes.

    The promise of a new calendar year is awfully deceptive. I want to believe once the clock strikes twelve on New Year’s Eve these feelings will instantly drift away. But it won’t overnight. That being said being aware of my own behaviour, what triggers it, what makes me feel and why is just the start of a journey towards a more sustainable approach to my mental health and looking after myself.

    With those lows have come the highest of highs.

    I went to India back in April and I keep forgetting that actually happened. I’ve kept quiet on the details not because I’ve wanted to keep the whole trip under wraps but I realised I was finding it hard to put into words what I got up to without it sounding so very ‘GUYS I totally found myself watching the sunset in Goa.’

    But I DID watch the sunset in Goa. I also saw the sunset and turn into wonderful shades of purple and pink whilst sat on a houseboat in Alleppey. I spent an evening watching fog stream across huge mountain valleys covered in tea leaves. I packed myself into a tuk-tuk with four of my travel gang as we raced across Panjim on Easter Sunday. I saw the Taj Mahal in 30+ degree heat after an exhausting hour-long domestic flight and a four-hour drive from Delhi. I danced (badly) at my first Indian wedding in a colourful sari which I haggled for in a dress shop all by myself. In between the big moments were girly chats over freshly made garlic naan, learning phrases in Malayalam thanks to our driver in Kerala, and enough #travelsquad selfies to last a lifetime.

    The trip did not come without drama, illness, and stress. but as cliched as it sounds it was such a once in a lifetime experience that I’d never take back.

    My name was in print for the first time ever alongside an original piece poetry this year. The lovely folks at 404 Ink selected Filipina as part of their ‘F-Word’ themed issue 2 of the literary magazine. I have to admit I couldn’t quite hold back the tears when I got my copy of the magazine. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to really convey just how that felt to me. It’s not a book deal or heck even a sign up to an agent but it’s a start.

    A start ignited, if you remember, by the wonderful Write Like A Grrrl course I did over a year and a half ago. Off the back of that, I packed my bags for a rather uncharacteristically sunny Manchester for GrrrlCon. What ensued was quite possibly the most magical weekend of writing and female empowerment I have ever witnessed to date. I couldn’t stop raving about how great it was to be in a room with some incredibly supportive female writers and creators. The conversations on confidence and inner critics were open, honest, and frankly quite cathartic to have. I honestly wished I could just stay there for the end of time. I found it hard to sustain that feeling once away from that little writing community, but I’m hoping to make a fresh start on my writing goals in the new year.

    Though I’ve ticked off some of the biggest bucket list items that I never thought would be possible, it’s been the smaller moments that I’ve really appreciated.

    Exploring London and Cambridge with Erin, the quiet mornings spent writing in small Northern Quarter cafes before a packed day at GrrrlCon, seeing my sister turn 18 (and discovering she is quite a dancer at her birthday party), hearing the tower bells of Magdelene College on my first May Morning in Oxford, wine and pizza nights with my housemates, the geeky atmosphere of LFCC (and spotting Alison Hannigan at her signing booth), happy crying watching Kelly Marie Tran in Star Wars, hearing Gillian Anderson talk about feminism, enjoying my first snow day in years, watching more live poetry, spoken word and comedy, making a fool of myself dancing with my colleagues at work parties, watching Dan + Shay live in Birmingham, punting and pimms on a warm summer day, wandering around Amsterdam in the brisk winter sunshine with my family, evenings spent roaring with laughter with friends over stupid pub quiz questions.

    As cheesy as it sounds those moments are the ones I’m carrying with me into 2018.

    This whole post is packed with cliches and I’m sorry it’s been a bit of a ramble. (I’m a bit rusty on the blog writing front) So cheers to you for making it through. I’m actually taking a bit of a break at the start of the new year before leaping back into working (I’m calling it my makeshift writing/’Ria sorts her life out retreat’). Aside from a little 2018 resolutions blog post, I’ll guess see you on the other side!

    R Xx