Tag: personal post

blogger’s block: the condition of being unable to think of what to blog about or how to proceed with blogging.

There’s a moment all bloggers dread when you open up the page of a notebook or fire up your laptop. You try and pick up a pen or poise your fingertips over a keyboard and nothing comes out. The blank space whir of writer’s block in one’s head can feel like your world is falling out of sync.

You’re supposed to be good at creating, at imagining, at writing, but when unforeseen circumstances or life just gets in the way and that creation stops, so do you. I’ve been a busy bee. Have been since I moved and have subconsciously decided to break out of my introverted shell, grow up a bit, get out of the house. It’s been good for my well-being and good for my mental health, but I’m starting to realise why people are so impressed when I say I’ve been blogging for 5 years. How have I managed to keep it up? To stay organised? To keep writing?

The truth is I don’t know how. I just do and keep doing. But every do often I run on empty. I stop. And I try and start again. I stop again.

Blogging breaks are good, but let them drag on too long and I get myself into the situation I did last year. I stopped. Completely. And it took every ounce of motivation and energy to start again. It takes so much discipline to start again.

And there’s still this overhanging habit of being too cautious with this blog. I set out when I rebranded with the best of intentions. No more hesitation of hitting publish on blog posts and yet here I am doing just that. The usual fears creep in. ‘Will anyone read this?’ I don’t want to fall into the hole of just making clickable/readable/digestible/professional content. I’m not a blogger by trade and long ago decided I don’t want to be. I can’t do this full time but what I can do is write. It’s what I’ve always done and it’s what this blog is supposed to be for really. Not for brand deals or PRs. Not for the follows or RTs or comments. Not for ‘hey look at me validation. It’s my space to write and in reality always has been just that. Sometimes I just need a kick up the butt reminder of that.

I stopped.

I’m starting again.

R Xx

Small little post. It’s my 24th birthday today ^_^

The number Twenty-Four seems to come with a bit more gravitas. It’s not the awkward embarrassment of being a ‘teen’ or the semi-adult-ness of 21-23 where you can get away with eating pasta out of a saucepan with a spoon. It comes without the ‘sh*t I might actually have to act like a grown up’ feeling that I already know will come when I hit ’25’ or ’26’. It’s a nice middle of the road number. It’s a nicer number to say than 23. It’s the age I knew as a teenager that I wouldn’t have everything figured out but I’d at least have some sort of foothold and enough decent experiences under my belt to inspire a chapter or two in a novel.

So here are 24 snippets of ‘wisdom’/’advice’ now that I’m turning 24, for you (and some I need to make sure I repeat to myself on a daily basis).

1. Patience may be a virtue but don’t waste it on people who make you unhappy.
2. If in doubt, cry it out. Or sleep.
3. Travel solo at least once.
4. Opt to become a good listener.
5. Your relationship status is your business, not the world’s to know about.
6. Don’t let anyone devalue your online friendships, they are just as important as ‘real life’ friends (and can sometimes turn into IRL friends anyway).
7. No means no, especially in relationships (if a guy/girl etc. says otherwise please feel free to dump their ass in the Ocean to rot between Sam Pepper’s career and the Titanic).
8. Regularly check your privilege.
9. Your body is capable of doing amazing things, so make sure you look after it.
10. London is always a good idea.
11. Cast negativity out of your social media feeds.
12. Learn how to spend and enjoy time on your own.
13. Smile at babies and old people.
14. Stay passionate about things.
15. No job, no salary, no position is worth more than your mental health.
16. Make an effort to re-connect with your loved ones (whether that means your actual biological family or the one you create is up to you).
17. Find joy in the small things. Like puppies and finding 50p in your handbag.
18. Be an ally to those without a voice and raise their voices high.
19. You’ll find the most interesting people the least likely of places.
20. Start a journal to emptying your thoughts into once in a while (take it from me it’s cathartic).
21. Never settle – you’re worth more than you think.
22. In the words of Jon Stewart “…the best defense against bullsh*t is vigilance, so if you smell something, say something.”
23. Wear sunscreen.
24. You are flawed. You are human. Don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes.

Ria

Life Lessons in independence:

• It’s ok to be the ‘quiet one’ in the house.
• Boys aren’t as gross as you think – either that or the ones I’ve ended up living with are an anomaly.
• Cooking is hella therapeutic.
• That being said there is no shame in ordering take out or getting a ready meal ’cause the thought of preparing food and w a i t i n g for it to cook sounds like torture.
• Sometimes you just need to go ‘home’ to your family and just be looked after by your Mum.
• Coming back home drunk means fellow means housemates are officially allowed to use this as collateral to take the piss for an additional week.
• I have a magic touch when it comes to fixing most kitchen and bathroom appliance *flips hair*.
• A treat constitutes buying the fancy tonic from M&S rather than Tesco’s own brand.
• Passive aggressiveness with your housemates is inescapable, no matter how well you get on.
• Letting agencies suck.
• Council tax people on the other hand will not bite your head off when you’re confused.
• Sometimes you need people to drag you out of your bedroom and actually be sociable.
• Missing your alarm by one minute means missing your unofficial slot for the bathroom on the morning which causes a cataclysmic chain of events that will make your 10 minutes late for work.
• Cleaning doesn’t even phase me anymore.
• Being responsible for your own transport and not having a car ultimately means the phrase ‘sorry I’m running a little late’ will become commonplace.
• Don’t try to buy a set of knives from Poundland and expect them to work (like my housemate) – that sounds more ominous than I planned it to.
• I don’t think I’ll ever understand how I go through so many clothes in the space of one week.
• Yes, you will go for drinks after work tonight…cause why the hell not.
• Empty house sans housemates is the best. Sing-a-long dance parties to Taylor Swift and getting to take up the entire kitchen counter making dinner feels so luxurious.
• The Great British Bake-Off bonds all like no other TV show.

Just a few little things I’ve learnt since its officially been a year since I moved away from home for the first time and became an ‘independent woman’ (throw you hand up at meeee!…ahem). As you read this I’m actually moving onto yet another houseshare, which I have no doubt will throw up another set of learning curves (all girls as opposed to a mixed gender house…yikes!).

So whilst I settle into this new place amuse me with your tales of woe/wonder over shared accommodation at Uni/out of Uni/with other halves. I could do with a giggle after moving boxes all day.

Ria