stop : start

blogger’s block: the condition of being unable to think of what to blog about or how to proceed with blogging.

There’s a moment all bloggers dread when you open up the page of a notebook or fire up your laptop. You try and pick up a pen or poise your fingertips over a keyboard and nothing comes out. The blank space whir of writer’s block in one’s head can feel like your world is falling out of sync.

You’re supposed to be good at creating, at imagining, at writing, but when unforeseen circumstances or life just gets in the way and that creation stops, so do you. I’ve been a busy bee. Have been since I moved and have subconsciously decided to break out of my introverted shell, grow up a bit, get out of the house. It’s been good for my well-being and good for my mental health, but I’m starting to realise why people are so impressed when I say I’ve been blogging for 5 years. How have I managed to keep it up? To stay organised? To keep writing?

The truth is I don’t know how. I just do and keep doing. But every do often I run on empty. I stop. And I try and start again. I stop again.

Blogging breaks are good, but let them drag on too long and I get myself into the situation I did last year. I stopped. Completely. And it took every ounce of motivation and energy to start again. It takes so much discipline to start again.

And there’s still this overhanging habit of being too cautious with this blog. I set out when I rebranded with the best of intentions. No more hesitation of hitting publish on blog posts and yet here I am doing just that. The usual fears creep in. ‘Will anyone read this?’ I don’t want to fall into the hole of just making clickable/readable/digestible/professional content. I’m not a blogger by trade and long ago decided I don’t want to be. I can’t do this full time but what I can do is write. It’s what I’ve always done and it’s what this blog is supposed to be for really. Not for brand deals or PRs. Not for the follows or RTs or comments. Not for ‘hey look at me validation. It’s my space to write and in reality always has been just that. Sometimes I just need a kick up the butt reminder of that.

I stopped.

I’m starting again.

R Xx