Author: Ria

  • 100 Days of Writing

    100 Days of Writing

    Building a habit hard. Building a habit as a writer is even harder.  

    I’ve always wanted to be one of those writers who picks up their pen for 15 minutes or longer a day, and pens something that eventually adds up to make something great.

    It was easier when I was younger. I felt as if I had more ‘free’ time. Now with a full-time job that involves a lot of writing, adult responsibilities and routines that take up time, and the constant temptation to procrastinate (Hiya Netflix), I seem to have stopped. The past year, in particular, I’ve felt as if I’ve stagnated. I did just have writer’s block. I had a complete writer’s paralysis.

    This year I’ve decided to step up.

    One of my main writing goals in 2019 is to complete 100 days of consecutive writing.  

    It’s not a necessarily revolutionary challenge or one that is unfamiliar to many writers. In fact, the challenge was set up by Jenn Ashworth (a writer I love who gave an incredible keynote speech on courage at GrrrlCon a few years ago) as a counter to facing that writer’s paralysis head on. For Jenn, the challenge was less about word counts and more about showing up to write every single day. No matter how small, no matter the word count. The journey was more important than the output.

    Jenn refers to it as ‘gentle productivity’. Low stakes writing, that allows you to let go of the fear, the paralysis and find the courage to be vulnerable with your creativity. 

    So, for the next 100 days, I’m stepping up. I will write every day until the 12th May 2019. 

    Between now and then I have a holiday in Spain, my birthday, and Easter with my family. No doubt last-minute social things will crop up, I’ll be stressed out with work, be exhausted from the gym, have too much ‘life admin’ to do. I may have a whole free day to write or just 5 minutes. 

    But I will write. Every. Single. Day.

    I want to try and document this somewhere so there may be a final update post here on the blog. I will also be posting a few updates on Instagram (probably in my Stories) and Twitter too.

    Wish me luck!

    Ria Xx

  • Growth | 2019 One Word Resolution

    Growth | 2019 One Word Resolution

    Hello friends

    It’s been a while hasn’t it? You know I’m not one for apologies and honestly I don’t think there needs to be one. If you follow me elsewhere you’ll know that I’ve generally not had the brain space or energy to blog. I put out a grand total of five posts. The lowest amount I’ve written since I started just over EIGHT years ago – I’m an absolute granny in blogging years fam.

    2018 taught me valuable lessons in survival and endurance. Not wanting to be dramatic the reality of that was more of me trying to actively manage my mental health for the first time. I’ve been trying to get formally diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and S.A.D. I have come to terms with the fact that I have a well and truly unhealthy relationship with the Internet. I’ve also come to terms with with that there will be days that all I feel I can physically do is stare at a wall, feed myself and shower. I’ve been slowly opening up to my parents that I’m stressed and don’t know what I’m doing with my life (hard stuff with Asian parentals but we’re doing it).

    It may have come with age, but 2018 has also been very much sorting out what I actually truly care about, dropping what I don’t and realising that bad days are a blip in the timeline of my life. I’ve also realised this year, how very far I’ve come. On the phone to my sister in the Summer, she offhandedly said “You’re getting better at this y’know”. And I have. Every year I learn more about my triggers and how

    But perhaps contradictory to the previous paragraph, I feel as if I have actually done well on this. Looking back at last year’s word ‘Aspire’, my focus and my goals were never about actual action. Reconnecting with my sense of self and what my ambitions are were my priorities.

    Which brings me onto this year’s word.

    GROWTH

    1. the process of developing physically, mentally, or spiritually.

    2. The process of increasing in amount, value, or importance.

    Growth has many dictionary definitions from the literal, to the biological, to the economical. And like its dictionary definition I’m choosing to interpret it in multiple ways.

    Growth for me is not changing who I am now that I’ve got myself a new calendar. Growth is building on the foundations of last year’s aspirations and achievements. Growth is nurturing my enjoyment in the things I really feel passionate about. Growth will be a challenge, but growth will also be knowing that learning the importance of adapting. Growth is learning more and more about myself.

    In practical terms this means taking leaps and feeling scared. It means getting serious about dreams, aspirations, and ambitions, with the expectation that things will not work out 100% of the time. It means being honest with myself about what truly makes me happy and investing in that.

    I’m excited to plant the seeds this year. Watch me bloom.

  • Unconventional Milestones

    Unconventional Milestones

    I’ve said many times that I’m long past the point where I care about hitting particular milestones to determine my ‘adulthood’. That can sometimes be hard for someone who doesn’t have an engagement ring or sonogram photo or keys to my own place to boast about in a Facebook status

    One of my favourite writers Laura Jane Williams wrote in her Red Magazine column recently expressed her frustration of how sometimes those who take a less conventional route through life are often overlooked. Traditional rites of passage are often the more celebrated, but that doesn’t mean those of us who stray from the usual path should feel as if we have nothing that is “deemed culturally important enough for a designated bit in the card shop.”

    As it’s my 26th birthday today, I wanted to share some perhaps more unconventional milestones with you that I’m hoping to achieve. These are the ones I will personally deem important enough to celebrate – maybe with a Facebook status – one day.

    LIVE IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY

    It’s slowly dawning on me that by the time my parents hit their 30s they’d upped and moved to a completely different country at least once. I’ve ‘technically’ done that too, but I don’t think moving to Japan or the UK as a toddler really counts? I’ve always wanted to challenge myself to move across land/sea to see how I’d fare. So far, because of my lack of language skills, the safest options are likely the US, Canada, Australia, or New Zealand. Though it would be interesting to see if I could make a braver decision to go somewhere where I would have to pick up the language too.

    ACTIVELY MANAGE MY MENTAL HEALTH

    This is not just having a self-care Sunday moment. It’s getting a proper diagnosis. It’s trying therapy and potentially medication. It’s managing ups and downs properly. It’s recognising good physical health also contributes to good mental health. I know there’s unlikely to be a miracle pill in my lifetime that will help me do this, but if I can get to a point where I feel comfortable, know myself and weather the storm as it were then I definitely want to be celebrating that.

    ATTEND A PROTEST OR RALLY

    (I may have a chance to do this in July. haha!) But in all seriousness, I kind of wish this wasn’t on my milestone list. I wish we lived in a World where I didn’t have to tell Governments and politicians to do their job. But alas, protests, rallies or marches are now a core part of activism. I talk the talk, I’ve written about how people can support these causes from afar, but it’s important to me that I get out there myself.

    SIGN WITH A LITERARY AGENT

    I really hope I’m not jinxing myself with this one. My writing and unfinished books are my babies, so I guess this would be the equivalent of finding the right man for me to help me birth them into the World. For me, the agent is a huge first step more so than a publishing deal. I know from working in the industry and from authors that I follow that getting an agent who you know and deeply trust is like gold dust, so I appreciate this one may take some time. But I know it’ll be worth it.

    ~  ~  ~

    And in the spirit of celebration, here are a couple of unconventional milestones I’ve already hit:

    1. Travelled solo to another country (and am itching to again!).
    2. Built a piece of flatpack furniture by myself *insert strong arm emoji here*
    3. Had my writing and my name in print.
    4. Work in a job where I use the degree I studied for. #MillennialGoals
    5. Finally figured out how to budget. Properly. Spreadsheets and everything.

    ~  ~  ~

    Let me know what unconventional milestones you’ve hit too! I’d love to celebrate with you guys as well.

    R Xx