Thoroughly modern millennial

Tag: opinion piece

  • On Passing White, Race & Activism

    I haven’t really talked about race on my blog before. After reading Michelle’s quite frankly brilliant blog post (why you so good Michelle, goddammit!) and the corresponding Jezebel article with it, I’ve finally decided to hit publish on a post on some thoughts that have been simmering under the surface for quite some time (in various iterations).

    —

    So first things first, let’s get a few things out of the way. I am a South East Asian woman. I was born in the Philippines. I am daughter of immigrant parents and am an immigrant myself.

    But I grew up in white middle class British suburbia, English is my first language and I barely lived in in the Philippines longer than a year as baby. I speak more English than I do Tagalog (one of the main languages in the Philippines), but I can understand the language pretty fluently if anyone were to speak to me in it.

    Racism wasn’t really something I paid attention to until much later in life, but in hindsight it was always present. In those situations I think it’s fair to say that’s it’s a very ‘Asian’ thing to want integrate rather than stand out, and brushing off the micro-aggressions that come with looking the way I do comes with the territory. There’s a sense of humility associated with the way I was raised, to never take anything for granted, be grateful of opportunities and never piss anyone off because my parents in some ways knew how tough it could be if you don’t follow these rules.
    Looking back now there may have been an element of them knowing my ‘ethnic’ name could get passed over in job interviews, that my skin colour and appearance could hinder my chances of being taken seriously, and that Western culture can be harsh and cruel to those who don’t ‘fit in’.

    Back in the 90s that was the World my parents immigrated to. The one where my parents did – and sometimes still do – struggle to articulate in English and were the young immigrant couple raising a 1 year old in metropolitan London so far away (physically and culturally) from where they came from. The way to cut through racism for them and for me was to work hard and fit in. Which seems like a nice thing to teach your kids, but in reality it’s training you to best person in the room in every sense, absorb the culture surrounding you, so no one has a reason to discriminate against you because of the colour of your skin.

    —

    Nowadays it’s more than acceptable to wear your race on your sleeve. I’m certainly more vocal on Twitter about race, but looking back at my ‘Asian’ experience for so many years I’ve kinda managed to ‘pass-white’.

    I’ve chewed over this phrase more and more, as I’ve educated myself as conversations surrounding race have opened up in the past year, but compared to those in movements like #BlackLivesMatter I often don’t feel entitled to complain. I’ve essentially grow up with a weird warped sense of ‘white privilege’ where people just kinda accept that ‘yeah she has a different skin colour but other than that? *shrugs*’

    Going back to the original Jezebel article, ‘racial ambivalence‘ is something I struggle with all the time. There are wonderful Asian activists out there already who are fantastic are vocalising their thoughts on representation and Asian culture. I envy how well they’re able to articulate their thoughts and sheer stamina to keep writing about these topics over and over again.

    But as much as I yearn to participate, to protest and to post, sometimes I think ‘Is this not enough? When ‘Racked’ proposed the question – Why Don’t Asian Bloggers Talk About Race? I immediately thought what else do you want me to do? Only blog on topics about Asian culture? Asian celebrities? Asian fashion or beauty? Because as much as I’m an immigrant kid who tried to fit in and hide any trace of her culture in public, I am also the immigrant kid who worked hard to get people to see as something other than the vaguely yellow Asian girl.

    And that right there is the difficult and fine line of balancing being a voice for your ethnicity, being proud of your colour or getting pissed off with Western privilege, and wanting to just have it all go away because you’re tired of talking and being angry all the time and you just want to fit in.

    —

    I feel like this is the tip of the iceberg on this topic – let’s be real I could probably write an entire thesis on this – so I’ll leave you with this for now and if you have any thoughts on anything I’ve written, let’s get talking in the comments below.

    Ria

  • Opinion | Is red carpet fashion still relevant?

    red carpet

    *image via Zimbio

    If you’re a pop-culture vulture like me, when January rolls around the one thing that crosses your mind. It’s the start of the most lavishly opulent two months of the year:

    Awards show season!

    Whilst for most people this psycho-analysing the media winning predictions, or eagerly waiting up at 2am to watch the ceremony on live-streams or on TV, for me my awards show experience focuses almost entirely on the red carpet. Yes, call me sad but I live for the red carpet coverage and more often that not the red carpet can honestly be the most entertaining part of the awards show, especially when the ceremonies end up flopping because of awkward hosts or I get frustrated at the winners/losers lists.

    Obviously I’m not oblivious to the criticisms that have amped up in the past few years namely #AskHerMore, controversy over cultural appropriation and the objectification of many of the women on the red carpet. I wrote a post last year about ‘being nicer’ to the attendees who I’ve actively shamed online when I’ve been writing about these ceremonies.

    But with all of these criticisms and more celebrity women fighting back against the inane ‘what are you wearing’ questions, I question myself as to whether ‘red carpet fashion’ is still relevant in 2016? Does it matter and do people care? What is the ‘carpet’s’ value?

    (more…)

  • Facing the January Sales | How to make sales assistants fall in love with you

    It’s that wonderful (?) time of the year again. The January sales have hit in full force and despite the usual Christmas overspend, shoppers are still coming out to snap up bargains in the sales.

    I’ve yet to brave my home town shopping centre yet, due to being on the other side of the till point since Christmas (oh the joys of post-Christmas overtime) but I thought I’d lend a helping hand to my fellow bargain hunters and offer some tips that will not only make the lives of a sales assistants around the country so much easier but may work in your favour too…

    #1. Don’t make a mess in our office.

    For us sales assistants, the store is our workplace. I once joked to my colleague, after she commented that my outfit looked more formal than usual, that the shop floor is our office. Now consider this, if that’s the case, how would you like us to go round to your workspace and start flinging reports and stationery around? Not very nice right? Well, that’s what happens when you drop clothes on the floor or fling shoes in some wayward direction, that’s effectively what you’re doing to our workspace. 
    I hate having a messy desk when I’m trying to do Uni work and it’s generally the same when I’m at my part-time job too. I try to be as tidy as possible around the till point, but when I spy a fallen hanger or clothes piling up underneath a stand I get that itch to tidy it [I know for a fact I’m not the only sales assistant who shudders at the sight of piles of unfolded clothes in Primark lol]. Taking a second to pick up a hanger makes our jobs so much easier.

    And if you’re really opposed to helping us out, consider it your good Samaritan deed to a fellow shopping who may not have found that top had you not picked it off the ground in the first place.

    #2. Check out returns policies before you venture out.

    If there’s one thing I dread the most while manning the till it’s getting a customer who is completely clueless about the process of returning an item…then proceeds to shout in your face that they’re right and you’re wrong, and then you tell them it’s printed on the receipt. 
    Every store in the UK should have a returns policy and pretty much every big chain from Primark to All Saints will have their policy printed on the receipt. 

    Save yourself the trouble at the till point and take two seconds to scan that little bit of paper before you head out to the shopping centre. Or even better, ask the shop assistant before you buy the item. 
    Terms and conditions are also on company websites, which will also go into detail about potential differences in policies for marked-down and full price items, as well as Internet returns. I also love love love people who have all their receipts too!

    #3. A smile goes a long way.

    A smile is the simplest thing in the world. There’s nothing more depressing when you try to smile at a customer when you’re trying to be friendly for once and they ignore you or even worse…frown back. Right there and then you change the mood in an instant. It takes fewer muscles in your face to make a smile, plus you’re the one who gets to go shopping all day while we’re working hard to keep your retail therapy experience running as smooth as possible. 

    This is particularly true at the till point. I challenge you, the next time a weary shop assistant calls you to their station…greet them with a ‘Hello’/’Good morning/afternoon’ and smile. If they then pursue a conversation, talk back politely, they may even ask how your day was, make a little joke, offer to find those 30length jeans you were pining after in the window. See where I’m going here? 

    Some of the best and most notable customers I’ve had have been polite, have smiled and kept the conversation light. I’ve actually been willing to go look for things myself if they’re that nice. Now I know this isn’t completely one-sided, believe me, I’ve been served by some miserable mugs in my time, but a smile never hurt anyone!

    #4. Use your brain.

    Picture the scene…a large clothing store just after Christmas, packed with customers, a till queue that runs to the back wall, the whole place looking like a bomb site, changing rooms just as packed as the shop floor, sales assistants running around trying to keep everything in order or marking down stock…and you walk up to one such worker with a dress with a big red slash mark through the price that says ‘£10’ and ask “Is this in the sale?”….seriously I’ve had this conversation.

    I know I may be preaching to the converted, but is it that hard to use your brain when you shop. If you find an item of clothing in the sales rack with no tag or price? Fair enough? If you find that item with no tag or price on it and there are 15 others on another rack? Not so much. The week after Christmas is usually the busiest time of year for stores and though staff will answer you as politely as they can ‘yes that dress is £10, there’s a few more over here’, we don’t like to state the obvious over and over again.

    #5.’Yes, that is ALL the stock we have’

    I may be letting you in a little trade secret, but after Christmas, some stores stockrooms can look a little glum. Once Boxing Day is in sight retailers will already have worked out what products are being marked down and a lot of the Autumn/Winter stock will be in it. This will be boots, winter gear like coats and scarves and festive party-wear, which happens to have taken up a lot of space in said stock room for a good few months. 
    Which probably means that the top you’re after in a size 10 probably went a few months ago. 

    This may be a little different for larger commercial chains or higher end stores like All Saints or shoe shops like Schue or Office but a sale is made up of leftovers. It’s stock that didn’t sell too well so the price has gone down and the most popular sizes will go first. 

    This, again depends on the area you’re shopping in. Student populated areas will most likely have few sizes 6-12’s, residential areas with older shoppers may have less 12-14’s. So unless your existence depends on you owning that size 10 top, there’s not much use asking the shop assistant if there’s another one upstairs. 

    You’re wasting their time trying to find this non-existent top and you’re wasting time that can be used finding an even more amazing bargain in the sale.

    #6. Have a little heart.

    As I’ve said previously in this post, January sales time can be an extremely stressful and pressurised environment for staff. We’re all human, aren’t we? Work doesn’t come without a little frustration and this is most definitely the case with the sales staff. 

    We deal with hundreds, if not thousands, of different people every day. Some are wonderful, some are fine to deal with and some can be downright horrible. But we deal with it all the same, just like you would in the office. 
    So before you snap at a tired looking sales assistant who is exasperatedly calling for their manager because you won’t co-operate spare a small thought for them. Remember, you’re the one who gets to shop all day while they work. 

    This tip goes hand in hand with tip #3, it’s a two-way relationship, the nicer you are to us the nicer we’ll be to you.

    Hope this helps a little. Again, I know that I’m most likely preaching to the converted but do pass these little tips onto family and friends. Or even better, set the example yourselves and let them see what glowing service you get when you throw a little compassion to the lowly sales assistant. 
    And if you’re a sales assistant yourself, let me know what other tips you’d love to give to customers that will make your life and they are much easier during the sales period.